My Cups Runneth Over

OK, here is something else that frosts my cookies . . . mmmmmmmm cookies . . . When the Hollywood "Press" claims the latest flavor of the week has put on some pounds, all of a sudden she is "curvy."

No, I beg to differ . . .a "curvy" Hollywood starlet is simply bloated, off the water pills and laxatives. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Meghan McCain (tee hee I am a size 8) and Kim Kickintheassets are not curvy . . .intellectually challenged maybe, but not curvy.

No, curvy women are women who consistently haunt the double digit clothing racks. They are the women who actually eat when they are out with others (even men and dates at that). They are the women who know there is more to life than leafy bunny food, vegetable juice and micro-greens. You know, women whose bras aren't filled with Kleenex and silicone.

Curves mean cellulite and muffin tops. Curves mean back fat and shoulder divits. You cannot have a curvy woman without the thunder thighs, and you cannot have the soft and natural pleasure pillows without the tummy. Truly curvy women know that jeans are the enemy, and that pants application can also double as aerobic exercise.

I am a curvy woman. I have not seen a single digit size since I was a single digit age, and even then I think it was more of a fluke. I have never known the pleasure of sitting while hugging my knees to my chest (both tummy and thighs prevent that), and I cannot remember a time where my weight was not a pain in my larger than standard assets.

My thighs have been know to start fires (from the friction) and my butt has it's own zip code. My mom still loves to tell the "funny" story of how I was the only baby to gain weight in the hospital . . .and how I have been drinking skim milk since I was two weeks old. I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk.

What really bothers me is women like me are more and more the norm, and not the exception. Those toothpicks, who double as shadows, they are the exception, and in my opinion, an unattractive exception at that.

Thanks to that wonderful source, the internet, I know that a majority of women in America average out at a size 14 (that would be whale size by Hollywood standards). Screen Goddess and Pinup Gal Supreme Marilyn Monroe was a member of the double digit club, and that woman was HOT! Queen Latifah, Cameron Manheim, Nicky B. (from Hairspray) and Raven Simone . . .Those are some gorgeous and curvy women.

So here is what I think . . .Curves can be dangerous, in both good and bad ways. Obviously, you cannot just throw all caution to the wind and gorge . . .there you risk your health, and that is always dangerous.

However, women need to know and see that healthy, gorgeous beauty comes in more than a single digit size, and famous women need to stop making excuses for what the powers-that-be call fat. Just once, I would love to see a famous person, previously stick figure size wise, unapologetically embrace a fuller, more gorgeous figure.

Beauty is only skin deep, and the more skin there is, the more beauty there can be.