A Weighty Issue

We have already established that I am a somewhat curvaceous woman. I have my own area code, and I am reluctantly proud and somewhat resigned to that fact.

One thing that I have learned more recently is that my feet also have a challenge when it comes to weight. Specifically, I have an extremely heavy lead foot. And boyo does the California Highway Patrol know it.

Recently, the local Monitor/Official Pastry Tester was trying to make the monthly quota doing his job in keeping the speed low on a local road, and I happened to come by when he was tuning up his radar.

Lucky me . . .Is there really anything better than seeing those lovely lights behind you?? Better yet, Officer Not So Friendly looked nothing like these guys:




Sidenote here: I LOVED John . . .Ponch not so much. But John, Hottie McHotterson! And John would never stoop to doing infomercials for Florida swamp land.

Back to the lesson: Some apologizing and lecturing later, I was on my way with a lovely yellow piece of paper by my side, and Mr. Officer Man was on his way to the local doughnut shop.

Oh well, it has been a while since I attended online traffic school. Maybe I can best my last time of 1.4 hours from start to finish for completing the reading and test sections (supposed to take 8 hours, but I am the speed cheater reader supreme).

I don't remember when exactly the Highway Patrol target was applied to my car. I only know that my bank account started taking some hits in the last about 6 years. I can be going with the flow of traffic and get singled out by Officer Quota. I can be in rush hour traffic and get a ticket for going 20 miles per hour over the speed limit (that one I should have fought, but I am a woosy baby). I have even gotten a ticket for coasting downhill too fast.

A couple of years ago, my collection was so big that I became the proud recipient of a DMV warning letter . . .too many tickets+too little time = DMV Nasty Gram. For a while, my insurance record resembled an early inning baseball score, points wise and my husband had enough material on me in terms of driving that I could not compete.

Recently, I thought I had finally turned a corner. . .foolish mortal that I am. But no, I just had to find Quota Man and now I am stuck with a fine and a list of acceptable traffic schools.

Where is the Krispy Kreme light when you need it????