Transitions

Transition . . .simple word, three syllables, packed with meaning. At it's most basic, transition means change . . .A change in circumstance, situation or status.

Every year around this time, I start thinking about transitions. I think it is the back to school thing. For me, the start of the school year was not always fun. I was the fat, unusual kid who lived in the boonies and did not fit in anywhere, and I was the absolute favorite target of the school bullies. Add to that, I went to a secular private school, where the core classmates never changed, and that just added a heck of a lot more pressure. I hated grade school, middle school was hard, and by high school I was just resigned and focused on getting out. I just wanted to get to a new situation, and I knew that was coming in college.

The transition between high school and college, though, that was tough. College for me was the most incredible time in my life (short of the time I am now living in with my husband) but I really was not prepared at all for the changes and issues that come with moving from my parents house to a dorm, and I was really not ready to be on my own. I found myself really wishing my high school had some program for seniors and recent college students to get together and discuss the issues and complications that come with the transition from one situation to the next. Then again, I don't think anyone's particular situation can translate to another.

The longest I had ever been away from home before college was two weeks. And I had never lived outside of San Diego before. I had never shared a room before. Never had to pay bills or really create my own schedule for everything from classes to laundry before. And I really had never had to deal with a roommate who started sleeping with the "love of her life," one week into the year and in our room every night before. I was 17, and all of a sudden I was on my own, in the midwest, away from everyone I knew, and completely unprepared for the life I had transitioned into.

Looking back on it, I am glad that I went through what I did. It forced me into a "grown up" situation with no safety net . . . and you know what? I survived. Even better, for the first time in my life, I thrived. I found my first best friend, I found acceptance from people for who I was and not for who I should be. And I found that I could balance my own checkbook and pay my own bills on time. All of that and more, I did on my own. No guides, no boundaries, and no lectures. I survived without supervision . . .What a concept!

So here is what I think . . . We need to do a good job for our kids when it comes to preparing them for that fateful transition to freshman year in college, or that first year out of high school. We need to give them the capabilities to survive and thrive on their own.

But in the end, we just need to give them a push and let them find out for themselves how to work in transition.