Big People Conversation

One of the things that I remember with complete clarity from my childhood is when I was told to leave the room for "Big People Conversation Time."

I came to understand much later on that "Big People Conversation Time" was actually the time my parents had those serious marital discussions. The ones that are never clean, often difficult, and never pretty.

But those conversations are also the ones where some of the best growth in marriage occurs. Those times of discomfort and progress . . . Those are the times I wish I could have some first hand perspective on.

Now I am not saying that we should expose our children to those "Big People Conversation" times, but as I grow in my own marriage, I often find myself wondering "Is this normal? Is our marriage normal?" I wish I had a point of view or some personal observation that I could recall, that would help me answer the "normal" question.

I don't know if it is just me or just a female thing, but I often wonder if what I am doing is normal. Is the way I live my marriage, and deal with issues normal . . .or am I really the psycho hose beast I fear I am.

But then I think, who cares what normal is? What we do works for us in our lives. . .it may not be the "Dr. Phil / Dr. Laura" way of conduct, but it works. Maybe that is normal, and maybe that is what I need to remember.

So here's what I think . . .Big People Conversation Time has its place in every home. But leadership by example and life lessons need to happen along the way. If for no other reason than to save our kids from the never ending and pointless inquiry that is the "Am I normal?" saga.